Jim:
[Subdued] ‘Morning, Al. How was your weekend?
[Al simply grunts as he shuffles towards the coffee maker with his eyes half shut.]
Al:
Coffee…
[Al takes the pot out of the coffee maker and goes to pour it into his mug. Al shrieks in distress when he discovers the coffee pot is empty.]
Jim:
[Tired and subdued] We’re out of coffee. I checked.
Al:
[Moans]
Judy:
[Trudges in] God, I need some coffee,
Jim:
There is no coffee.
Al:
[Moans again, staring at his empty cup.]
Judy:
What do you mean there’s no coffee? How can we work without coffee? There has to be coffee somewhere. [She grabs Jim by the shirt.] I need my coffee. Someone has to have coffee.
Al:
Coffee…
Tim:
[Sails in, bright, cheerful, and extremely hyper.] Good morning, everyone!
Jim:
We’re out of coffee.
Tim:
[Very peppy] Oh, that’s ok. I’ve got this great idea I’d like to get working on. I figure I can reorganize the file system for all our accounts. Judy, did you get a haircut? It looks great! Anyways, with the files, I figured we could…
Judy:
Didn’t you hear him? There’s no coffee.
Al:
[Sobs.]
Jim:
[Comforts Al.] There, there. It’ll be okay.
Judy:
Ok?! Everything’s not going to be ok! Look at Al. How can he function without his coffee? How can any of us function? We’re not going to make it I tell you. We’re not going to make it!
[Al is crying now.]
Jim:
Stop, you’re scaring him. [He hugs Al to comfort him.]
Tim:
Oh well, better get started on my project. Excuse me.
[Tim leaps over to his desk and ducks behind it. The sound of an espresso machine is heard. He comes out from behind the desk, wiping his lips, then leaps over to get some files.]
Judy:
How come you’re not tired like the rest of us?
Tim:
What? Oh, yes. I’m tired. I’m very tired. See? [Tim is incredibly hyper trying to pretend he’s tired.]
Judy:
What have you got under your desk?
Tim:
Nothing! Nothing at all. Nothing’s under my desk. Well, back to work.
Judy:
What’s that on your breath?
Tim:
Nothing! I just want to get back to my collating…
Judy:
You’re holding out on us, aren’t you? Aren’t you?
[Al, with a Frankenstein-like groan, pushes Tim aside and reaches under the desk. He pulls out an espresso machine.]
Judy:
I knew it! Espresso!
Tim:
[Grabs the machine from Al.] That’s mine!
Jim:
We really need that espresso.
Tim:
No, it’s mine.
[The group closes in on Tim who is hugging the machine defensively.]
Judy:
Give it to me!
[They struggle over the machine. Finally, the machine breaks apart, sending Tim sprawling. He hits his head on the corner of the desk and collapses.]
Jim:
[Bends over Tim’s body] Great, now Johnson’s dead.
Judy:
Never mind that, what about the espresso maker?
Jim:
It’s broken.
Judy:
Fix it!
Jim:
[Sobbing] I don’t know how.
Judy:
There has to be caffeine still in his bloodstream! We can drink that!
[Judy dives under the desk. She reaches up to pull a pencil off the desk and stabs it down like a knife.]
Mr. Maxwell:
[Enters] Hi, sorry I’m late. I remembered we were out of coffee so I stopped to pick some up for everyone.
[Judy sticks her head up, her face has blood on it. Al rushes over and grabs a cup of coffee and guzzles it.]
Maxwell:
So, did I miss anything important?
[Everyone avoids his gaze.]
Maxwell:
Say, where’s Johnson?
Judy:
Uh, he had to step out.
Al:
Can I have his coffee?