Aaron:
You wanted to see me, Moses?
Moses:
Yes, Aaron. Come in. I want to talk to you about what happened here while I was gone.
Aaron:
Oh?
Moses:
When I left here to go up the mountain and talk with God, the Israelites were a pious, righteous people united in their desire to create a moral society here in the wilderness. And what did I find when I came back? The camp was in shambles, clothes were strewn everywhere. There was lust, carnality, sins of the flesh… Aaron, I left you in charge. How could you let this happen?
Aaron:
I tried to stop them. I really did.
Moses:
Aaron, I know all about you and that farm animal.
[Aaron looks down sheepishly.]
Aaron:
[Quietly] You shouldn’t have left us.
Moses:
Look at it from my point of view. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, leading everyone through the wilderness. I just needed to spend some quality time alone with God – just the two of us. Is that too much to askl?
Aaron:
No.
Moses:
How could things get so out oof hand while I was gone?
Aaron:
You were gone a long time. People started to get scared.
Moses:
I was only gone for a weekend.
Aaron:
Yeah, but it was touch and go there for a while. Friday night dragged into Saturday morning, Saturday morning dragged into Saturday afternoon. People thought you weren’t coming back. Then somebody suggested that we sacrifice a virgin. We held a lottery to pick a virgin, and then we sent Brother Samuel to fetch her.
Moses:
And?
Aaron:
Well, we had to find another virgin. After that, the word got out, and we had a major decrease in the number of virgins.
Moses:
[Rubbing his brow] I can imagine.
Aaron:
So what are you going to do now?
Moses:
I don’t know. Prepare a sermon, I guess. Pass me that Bible.
[Aaron takes a one page pamphlet and passes it to Moses. Bibles were smaller at that point.]
Moses:
We really need to add some more material to the Bible. Every week I have to preach on the same passage. It loses something after a while.
Aaron:
But it’s a good passage.
Moses:
Now you’re just sucking up.
Aaron:
Sorry.
Moses:
[Looks through the pamphlet and throws it down.] Oh, there’s nothing in here that covers this kind of situation. What we need are some new rules. Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go back up the mountain and work out a set of Commandments with God. While I’m gone, you and your friends have to get this camp straightened up.
Aaron:
You’re leaving again?
Moses:
Yes, and this time there will be no more parties while I’m gone. Do you understand?
Aaron:
Yes, sir.
[Moses starts to leave.]
Aaron:
Oh, Moses? If you go by the stables on your way out, tell Bessie I love her.